The calendar needs updating, and I need office help.
Two going-fast opportunities are:
Online summit:
Eat Your Dirt, starts March 5, we are on the schedule for March 8.
All-access pass https://solacelessons.samcart.com/referral/JTy27hCd/iCPzPxPelP4VR6d8
Free/splash page https://solacelessons.samcart.com/referral/WieoGj3O/iCPzPxPelP4VR6d8
If you select the "free" page, please expect a bit of a sales blitz. Click on through if you really don't want to upsell.
The content is well worth the all-access pass prices (worth 3x to 10x more), and the sharing terms are generous, so please support this project as we'd like to do more of them!
In person:
Missoula Area:
There are only two tickets left for the Permaculture Design Course at Wheaton Labs - we will be attending the whole thing, and presenting on several topics, with leadership from the inimitable Tim Barker.
https://richsoil.com/pdc.jsp
Alternative Technology course immediately following, same location, still has some room, and we'll be there for about half of this.
We're also hashing out final details for a natural building workshop just before the PDC, with Jim and the Ants leading basic building of the project, and me as an "expert" to lead a natural plasters mini-course toward the end. Lots of fun times!
https://richsoil.com/pdc.jsp
Tonasket Area:
Natural plasters with Green Okanogan on Earth Day, April 22, with opportunities for volunteers to do a more in-depth work party with us in early April to prepare.
RSVP to: Web@GreenOkanogan.org
Rocket Mass Heater Intro Day, Sat. April 29th, $25 to the public.
See previous descriptions for this, it's terribly fun, morning show-and-tell with a choice of hands-on activities in the afternoon.
RSVP as soon as you know you want to come, because parking is limited, our book came out last year, and I've invited the entire NE WA region to send fire fighters and emergency responders for free.
We may be opening additional days, or offering a couple more sessions in neighboring counties, if demand is high. There may be options to earn a place as "staff" for the event by prior arrangement. This is the cheapest public event we do all year. We do it in order to generate good energy and local help for our home projects (including just plain fire safety, reducing the number of depressing calls we get to structure fires that started with an ill-fated woodstove or chimney.)
RSVP to: questions@ErnieAndErica.info, with "Rockets 2017" in the subject line.
For family and friends:
We will be having a Portland visit during Spring Break, and another one in late July.
These are supposed to be for family, not so much business. So if you're looking for a rocket stove consult, please respect our right to put you off until fall or later.
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Sunday, February 26, 2017
Vigil Concluded
For those concerned about the "vision quest" and sleep deprivation, I had a wonderful long rest last night, after a beautiful Saturday that had a lot of ritualistic elements (sabbath, end-of-vigil, etc). I will be sharing more about it all in days to come!
Love,
Erica
Love,
Erica
Friday, February 24, 2017
Burning Bush: Erica Turns 40 and Levels Up
I thought turning 40 might be depressing, and make me feel old, but no - it's incredibly powerful. I have done my time. I have defined myself as a crisis victim, and a crisis survivor. I am now an experienced crisis manager.
My birthday Feb. 10 was the beginning of feeling better from a week spent feverish in bed with this year's seasonal crud.
That recovery surge of energy, overlaid on my re-discovery of my calling to creative collaboration and teamwork through stepping up at Mt. Hull Fire District 12, overlaid on a surge of good wishes from family elders and supportive fans. Like when many waves temporarily align into a super-wave.
Self-pity about unfinished plans, distance from loved ones, roots in too many places is dropping away. This is my mountain, MOTA is my church, you are my tribe, and there is no conflict because this is my world.
earth.nullschool.net
My is teaching me powerful things about chain of command, scope of leadership, and how to share immense responsibilities within achievable human skills and capacities.
Ernie and I both feel I may be called to progress in the nationwide disaster-response qualifications toward "IC," Incident Commander. On my part, I just felt a hunch that this may be the year that I get my first call-out where I'm the senior person who responds to a call in our district, and I'd like to be fully prepared to do that safely by whenever it happens.
Ernie feels that I might need to get fast-tracked to finish the appropriate training and experience, toward my natural leadership level, and he also calls that "IC track." Could be some other thing - safety officer, train-the-trainer, research and development of disaster-prevention and community preparedness.
What training path do I take toward people-puzzle leadership?
My district's fractured chain of command has resolved itself into a department running on ten good men and two good women. The flustercluck has resolved into at least 6 wheels on the ground and tieing in. And the core meeting I tried to facilitate (on 3 days with about 4 hours' sleep) has fully endorsed my acting as a non-officer coordinator for now (trainings/transition help), and pursuing my own training opportunities as far and as fast as I care to try. I said, "If you can tolerate me in this state of sleep deprivation, we might be able to work together," and they seem to be all for it.
My previous calls to serve with Ernie in disaster prevention, building resilient communities, and working to mitigate the Long Emergency are aligning with this one. Our district has a similar image problem, of "Mt. Hull Specials" and hot messes. Like many small rural districts, people who buy cheap land are either amazingly resilient survivors with their eyes open, or people making a poor decision that may be part of a pattern.
Mt. Hull is now "My Mountain," a proving ground for demonstrating what can be done using only what you have. As I experiment with how I can facilitate better community support, it might become an exemplarly Permaculture Fire District, creatively using goats to mow medevac and safety zones, for example, or hosting small business and web marketing seminars at the fire hall as bait for good treasurers and secretaries to volunteer.
The wonderful friends and allies that I've been gathering since before I was born are now showing up as beacons of potential, awaiting connection. The light of these visions are keeping me from sleep.
Be careful what you pray for:
I have asked many people to help hold me in their care, and to help me find good boundaries, listening instead of over-talking, and a 90-day trial period in case I can't do this without burning myself out.
I have mentors in mind, and will be reaching out for support crew.
However, it does not appear that the Universe is going to allow me to think my way through the process on my usual terms.
It has turned into a sort of vision quest, or sword of Damocles, or trial by fire.
My body is giving me clear signals, which make it physically uncomfortable or painful when I over-commit, micro-manage, or do things that it's not time to do. This physical discomfort, combined with the excitement, makes it hard to sleep more than an hour to three hours at a time.
I realize that's a grave health concern, and so does my team. Please listen to the RadioLab podcast about RAAM and human limits, and realize that my beloved Ernie is a former RAAM completion athlete. He will do what he feels necessary if he sees symptoms that I have gone beyond "incredible superwoman lifting car off baby" human capacity, and am in danger of entering the death zone.
Please tie in with Ernie if you feel you have a key element or emergency intervention option for my well being. questions@gmail.com
My own sense is that this might be a crash course in leadership from God. Listen to those body-sense cues, find effective support, because the alternative is intolerable. Surviving it will mean I have a much better knowledge of my actual limits, with many self-defeating fears and follies burned away.
If you are Catholic, this feels like Sacred Heart.
It feels like I am a hero-in-training going through my qualifying exam.
It feels like a rite of passage that is being coordinated by the universe itself.
It feels like being divinely whipped into shape for the Haudenosaunee Peacemaker / Quaker practices.
It feels like the Shamanic status of becoming a "hollow reed," through which the spirit acts in the world.
As I write, I am using my body cues to find my best words. Overstatement or falseness causes physical discomfort in my heart, throat, or gut. Right words, right actions, bring relief.
These sensations are like a dowsing-rod; I am using them to guide me toward food, drink, healthy activity and requests for guidance, or time to rest again. My need to relieve the discomfort is also my guide to pinpoint the support that feels best from the many 'sleep coaches' and aunties I've enlisted.
If you have experienced such a transformative crisis yourself, and feel called to help me with this one, please email me using the topic "Burning Bush" in the title with your offer. Or call me on whatever line you have.
Boundaries for phone calls, until further notice:
- No phone calls during the hours of darkness, especially after 9pm, unless it's a life-or-death emergency, or a pre-arranged exception.
- For those we specifically asked to return a call, please call between 9am-6pm.
- No Unsolicited Advice By Phone Please, see below.
- Hand-picked sleep coaches are helping me try for bedtime at 9pm.
- I am trying to stop working, bringing myself down from exciting brainstorming, connection, and puzzle-type work, starting around 6pm. Including "solving" this crisis by thinking about it. Because my entire life's work and play and family history is in the process of unifying into a coherent calling, EVERYTHING that I normally love to talk about will also wind me up and make it harder to sleep. But we may not unplug the phone if I expect a return call about urgent/important support.
Re: Unsolicited Advice: Ernie and I are contacting hand-picked advisors; as you can imagine, our medical adventures have led us to meet some awesome ones.
If we have not requested your personal involvement or call, take a deep breath. Check your heart and gut before dialing the phone. Is it worth the phone ring possibly waking me up from a much-needed nap?
If you're not sure, please offer quietly: email, mail a note, or send a prayer/intention instead.
If it's a treatment you've received or heard about, but you're not a master practitioner yourself, could you use the phone to find a master-level practitioner, and send them our way?
Exceptions/Solicited advice:
- leads on excellent local doctors, social workers, mental health, self-care (massage therapists?) in Okanogan County. Or world-class health advisors who can work from a distance.
- options for highly functional on-site caregiver relief, for future times when we're all laid up at once (Ernie may need ADLs and health care and errands)
- Anyone we contacted since Feb. 18th, we see you as part of the solution (your advice is solicited)
If you feel called to help in any way, offers of substantial help/offloading the excess are welcome. Please respond in the comments or tie in by email: questions@ernieanderica.info
We will be offering other ways to help very shortly, as we get the lines established.
My nightly mantra, as I practice breathing breath in silver light and the long exhale, is "Thank You God for Everything." That includes you, beloved readers.
My birthday Feb. 10 was the beginning of feeling better from a week spent feverish in bed with this year's seasonal crud.
That recovery surge of energy, overlaid on my re-discovery of my calling to creative collaboration and teamwork through stepping up at Mt. Hull Fire District 12, overlaid on a surge of good wishes from family elders and supportive fans. Like when many waves temporarily align into a super-wave.
Self-pity about unfinished plans, distance from loved ones, roots in too many places is dropping away. This is my mountain, MOTA is my church, you are my tribe, and there is no conflict because this is my world.
earth.nullschool.net
My is teaching me powerful things about chain of command, scope of leadership, and how to share immense responsibilities within achievable human skills and capacities.
Ernie and I both feel I may be called to progress in the nationwide disaster-response qualifications toward "IC," Incident Commander. On my part, I just felt a hunch that this may be the year that I get my first call-out where I'm the senior person who responds to a call in our district, and I'd like to be fully prepared to do that safely by whenever it happens.
Ernie feels that I might need to get fast-tracked to finish the appropriate training and experience, toward my natural leadership level, and he also calls that "IC track." Could be some other thing - safety officer, train-the-trainer, research and development of disaster-prevention and community preparedness.
What training path do I take toward people-puzzle leadership?
My district's fractured chain of command has resolved itself into a department running on ten good men and two good women. The flustercluck has resolved into at least 6 wheels on the ground and tieing in. And the core meeting I tried to facilitate (on 3 days with about 4 hours' sleep) has fully endorsed my acting as a non-officer coordinator for now (trainings/transition help), and pursuing my own training opportunities as far and as fast as I care to try. I said, "If you can tolerate me in this state of sleep deprivation, we might be able to work together," and they seem to be all for it.
My previous calls to serve with Ernie in disaster prevention, building resilient communities, and working to mitigate the Long Emergency are aligning with this one. Our district has a similar image problem, of "Mt. Hull Specials" and hot messes. Like many small rural districts, people who buy cheap land are either amazingly resilient survivors with their eyes open, or people making a poor decision that may be part of a pattern.
Mt. Hull is now "My Mountain," a proving ground for demonstrating what can be done using only what you have. As I experiment with how I can facilitate better community support, it might become an exemplarly Permaculture Fire District, creatively using goats to mow medevac and safety zones, for example, or hosting small business and web marketing seminars at the fire hall as bait for good treasurers and secretaries to volunteer.
The wonderful friends and allies that I've been gathering since before I was born are now showing up as beacons of potential, awaiting connection. The light of these visions are keeping me from sleep.
Be careful what you pray for:
I have asked many people to help hold me in their care, and to help me find good boundaries, listening instead of over-talking, and a 90-day trial period in case I can't do this without burning myself out.
I have mentors in mind, and will be reaching out for support crew.
However, it does not appear that the Universe is going to allow me to think my way through the process on my usual terms.
It has turned into a sort of vision quest, or sword of Damocles, or trial by fire.
My body is giving me clear signals, which make it physically uncomfortable or painful when I over-commit, micro-manage, or do things that it's not time to do. This physical discomfort, combined with the excitement, makes it hard to sleep more than an hour to three hours at a time.
I realize that's a grave health concern, and so does my team. Please listen to the RadioLab podcast about RAAM and human limits, and realize that my beloved Ernie is a former RAAM completion athlete. He will do what he feels necessary if he sees symptoms that I have gone beyond "incredible superwoman lifting car off baby" human capacity, and am in danger of entering the death zone.
Please tie in with Ernie if you feel you have a key element or emergency intervention option for my well being. questions@gmail.com
My own sense is that this might be a crash course in leadership from God. Listen to those body-sense cues, find effective support, because the alternative is intolerable. Surviving it will mean I have a much better knowledge of my actual limits, with many self-defeating fears and follies burned away.
If you are Catholic, this feels like Sacred Heart.
It feels like I am a hero-in-training going through my qualifying exam.
It feels like a rite of passage that is being coordinated by the universe itself.
It feels like being divinely whipped into shape for the Haudenosaunee Peacemaker / Quaker practices.
It feels like the Shamanic status of becoming a "hollow reed," through which the spirit acts in the world.
As I write, I am using my body cues to find my best words. Overstatement or falseness causes physical discomfort in my heart, throat, or gut. Right words, right actions, bring relief.
These sensations are like a dowsing-rod; I am using them to guide me toward food, drink, healthy activity and requests for guidance, or time to rest again. My need to relieve the discomfort is also my guide to pinpoint the support that feels best from the many 'sleep coaches' and aunties I've enlisted.
If you have experienced such a transformative crisis yourself, and feel called to help me with this one, please email me using the topic "Burning Bush" in the title with your offer. Or call me on whatever line you have.
Boundaries for phone calls, until further notice:
- No phone calls during the hours of darkness, especially after 9pm, unless it's a life-or-death emergency, or a pre-arranged exception.
- For those we specifically asked to return a call, please call between 9am-6pm.
- No Unsolicited Advice By Phone Please, see below.
- Hand-picked sleep coaches are helping me try for bedtime at 9pm.
- I am trying to stop working, bringing myself down from exciting brainstorming, connection, and puzzle-type work, starting around 6pm. Including "solving" this crisis by thinking about it. Because my entire life's work and play and family history is in the process of unifying into a coherent calling, EVERYTHING that I normally love to talk about will also wind me up and make it harder to sleep. But we may not unplug the phone if I expect a return call about urgent/important support.
Re: Unsolicited Advice: Ernie and I are contacting hand-picked advisors; as you can imagine, our medical adventures have led us to meet some awesome ones.
If we have not requested your personal involvement or call, take a deep breath. Check your heart and gut before dialing the phone. Is it worth the phone ring possibly waking me up from a much-needed nap?
If you're not sure, please offer quietly: email, mail a note, or send a prayer/intention instead.
If it's a treatment you've received or heard about, but you're not a master practitioner yourself, could you use the phone to find a master-level practitioner, and send them our way?
Exceptions/Solicited advice:
- leads on excellent local doctors, social workers, mental health, self-care (massage therapists?) in Okanogan County. Or world-class health advisors who can work from a distance.
- options for highly functional on-site caregiver relief, for future times when we're all laid up at once (Ernie may need ADLs and health care and errands)
- Anyone we contacted since Feb. 18th, we see you as part of the solution (your advice is solicited)
If you feel called to help in any way, offers of substantial help/offloading the excess are welcome. Please respond in the comments or tie in by email: questions@ernieanderica.info
We will be offering other ways to help very shortly, as we get the lines established.
My nightly mantra, as I practice breathing breath in silver light and the long exhale, is "Thank You God for Everything." That includes you, beloved readers.
Thursday, December 1, 2016
DIY Cancer Care (short version: not fun)
Breaking radio silence, I wanted to let some concerned friends and
family know that we are OK.
We have had a series of disappointing medical appointments for Ernie, resulting in a lot of not much happening, and we are coming out of an extended paperwork-and-logistics crunch on long-term care for Ernie's mom.
Ernie's mom has late-stage cancer, and is medically considered beyond treatment (which she resisted for years anyway).
In the unfortunate event that you are going through something similar, here are some resources we've found useful:
- If you are doing OK, medically and financially, but starting to slow down a bit, Meals on Wheels has been surprisingly helpful in helping elders stay independent in their own homes. Not just food, but a daily visit from a friendly face, and in my grandma's case they were also able to call a designated number if she didn't answer the door. (Which means family could visit when convenient, but didn't need to hover.)
- Long Term Care:
Illness is expensive, and so is long-term care.
One website showing places to apply for food and medical help:
http://www.in.gov/fssa/dfr/2691.htm
A lot of communities have other resources, such as private organizations or funds. A good local social worker should know a lot of them.
Medicaid can help with long-term care, based on financial and functional eligibility, they may offer anything from a few hours a week of light household help, to 24-hour care in a nursing home.
- Power of Attorney:
If a person becomes incapacitated, or just starts having trouble doing paperwork in a timely way, they may need to designate a trusted person to have access to their affairs. (This is kind of like adding someone to your joint bank account - an untrustworthy person can really mess up your life.)
There are lots of generic POA forms online. You can X out sections that don't apply. Consult a lawyer if needed. A power of attorney is not the same as a will, and may not allow access to affairs or resources after a person dies.
Hospice: comfort care, including in-home or residential nursing:
http://www.hospicedirectory.org/
http://www.nhpco.org/find-hospice
(Ask your doctor what hospice programs they work with/recommend. Generally, your doctor must confirm your eligibility (within about 6 months of end of life), but there are no limits to how long you can receive care. The hospice coordinators or social workers can help you find out what's covered by your insurance. They are incredibly helpful, compassionate, and well-informed. Even if you don't sign up now, they may be able to walk you through your best options and local resources.)
- American Cancer Society:
A good summary of end-of-life processes and symptoms:
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/nearingtheendoflife/nearingtheendoflife/nearing-the-end-of-life-death
What Happens When Someone Dies?
If you are young and lucky, you may never have been present at another person's death. What do you do?
If the dead person was on Hospice, you call the Hospice main number, and generally a nurse will come out to handle things.
If not on Hospice, the death must be reported to the county Medical Examiner, usually by calling the sherriff's office at 911. Don't move the body until the medical examiner releases it. (Sometimes they just ask a few questions over the phone, depending who's there, but usually a medical person has to verify the death in person.)
It's a good idea to make arrangements ahead of time (funeral home, body donation, or whatever), because there are limits to how long you can discuss these things, or second-guess the person's wishes, after death. Funeral homes will provide a price list on request; both basics and extras can be expensive. Although it can be depressing to contemplate, making decisions ahead of time is a huge weight off friends and family afterwards.
- Informal Social Support and Reciprocity:
We owe a big debt of gratitude to the church family, friends, and neighbors, all of whom have been providing a lot of day-to-day help for Ernie's mom. Most of them say that she has done the same for them, or for other friends and families they know.
Most of the above programs, and many others, accept donations or volunteers. My gran'ma and I enjoyed donating boxes of fresh fruit from her backyard trees to Meals on Wheels; another friend enjoyed delivering meals by bicycle.
We all make our own beds, and lie in them. There are worse things than toughing out a deadly illness in your own home, on your own terms, with daily visits from friends and family.
...
Not useful, in our opinion:
- sales websites promising to cure your cancer in a few easy steps (and turning the blame back on you if you don't follow their impossible steps exactly, or if following their steps caused other and possibly worse health problems)
- faith healers who tell a person casually over the phone that they are healed, regardless of medical circumstances, or any discernible divine intervention
- people who snoop or gossip about someone's situation without actually helping.
We occasionally have the benign problem of 'too many cooks,' where well-meaning people see a need, and try to do something about it (like "re-organize" or shuffle important papers). But if it is not a task they can complete (often because it's not really their job), messing with it can make things worse.
One of the most difficult things as a care giver is to recognize when to leave well enough alone.
Being present, and listening, are often more important than bustling or effort. Between Ernie's medical appointments and our physical distance, we're not able to be present as much as his mom might prefer. So a lot of what we can do is by phone, fax, email, and second-hand.
I often wonder whether I'm doing enough, whether I'm doing too much. I am in this as Ernie's proxy; I often talk to his mother more than he does. And I may be stepping on toes.
There are a lot of emotionally difficult, physically uncomfortable things that happen when a person needs care. Everyone has their own opinions about how things ought to be done. I want us to hear about it if care isn't adequate - and I also want Ernie's mom to be allowed to make her own decisions as long as she is able. Friendly nagging or insisting can quickly become harassment - or just add to the indignity and confusion of an older adult having to ask for help.
Between consenting adults, "No" means No. Either the care giver, or the person receiving care, can decline if they are uncomfortable. (Physical, emotional, or time limits; inappropriate medical training or skill; or a private reason or personal preference are all adequate grounds for declining.)
There are specific legal and medical situations where a person's right to self-determination may be over-ruled. But unless and until you are appointed to make decisions on someone else's behalf, that is not your job.
I keep reminding myself that we are all doing the best we can - and not even the most perfect care can make a loved one immortal.
Hold onto the love, compassion, and gratitude that brought you together in the first place.
We have had a series of disappointing medical appointments for Ernie, resulting in a lot of not much happening, and we are coming out of an extended paperwork-and-logistics crunch on long-term care for Ernie's mom.
Ernie's mom has late-stage cancer, and is medically considered beyond treatment (which she resisted for years anyway).
In the unfortunate event that you are going through something similar, here are some resources we've found useful:
- If you are doing OK, medically and financially, but starting to slow down a bit, Meals on Wheels has been surprisingly helpful in helping elders stay independent in their own homes. Not just food, but a daily visit from a friendly face, and in my grandma's case they were also able to call a designated number if she didn't answer the door. (Which means family could visit when convenient, but didn't need to hover.)
- Long Term Care:
Illness is expensive, and so is long-term care.
One website showing places to apply for food and medical help:
http://www.in.gov/fssa/dfr/2691.htm
A lot of communities have other resources, such as private organizations or funds. A good local social worker should know a lot of them.
Medicaid can help with long-term care, based on financial and functional eligibility, they may offer anything from a few hours a week of light household help, to 24-hour care in a nursing home.
- Power of Attorney:
If a person becomes incapacitated, or just starts having trouble doing paperwork in a timely way, they may need to designate a trusted person to have access to their affairs. (This is kind of like adding someone to your joint bank account - an untrustworthy person can really mess up your life.)
There are lots of generic POA forms online. You can X out sections that don't apply. Consult a lawyer if needed. A power of attorney is not the same as a will, and may not allow access to affairs or resources after a person dies.
Hospice: comfort care, including in-home or residential nursing:
http://www.hospicedirectory.org/
http://www.nhpco.org/find-hospice
(Ask your doctor what hospice programs they work with/recommend. Generally, your doctor must confirm your eligibility (within about 6 months of end of life), but there are no limits to how long you can receive care. The hospice coordinators or social workers can help you find out what's covered by your insurance. They are incredibly helpful, compassionate, and well-informed. Even if you don't sign up now, they may be able to walk you through your best options and local resources.)
- American Cancer Society:
A good summary of end-of-life processes and symptoms:
http://www.cancer.org/treatment/nearingtheendoflife/nearingtheendoflife/nearing-the-end-of-life-death
What Happens When Someone Dies?
If you are young and lucky, you may never have been present at another person's death. What do you do?
If the dead person was on Hospice, you call the Hospice main number, and generally a nurse will come out to handle things.
If not on Hospice, the death must be reported to the county Medical Examiner, usually by calling the sherriff's office at 911. Don't move the body until the medical examiner releases it. (Sometimes they just ask a few questions over the phone, depending who's there, but usually a medical person has to verify the death in person.)
It's a good idea to make arrangements ahead of time (funeral home, body donation, or whatever), because there are limits to how long you can discuss these things, or second-guess the person's wishes, after death. Funeral homes will provide a price list on request; both basics and extras can be expensive. Although it can be depressing to contemplate, making decisions ahead of time is a huge weight off friends and family afterwards.
- Informal Social Support and Reciprocity:
We owe a big debt of gratitude to the church family, friends, and neighbors, all of whom have been providing a lot of day-to-day help for Ernie's mom. Most of them say that she has done the same for them, or for other friends and families they know.
Most of the above programs, and many others, accept donations or volunteers. My gran'ma and I enjoyed donating boxes of fresh fruit from her backyard trees to Meals on Wheels; another friend enjoyed delivering meals by bicycle.
We all make our own beds, and lie in them. There are worse things than toughing out a deadly illness in your own home, on your own terms, with daily visits from friends and family.
...
Not useful, in our opinion:
- sales websites promising to cure your cancer in a few easy steps (and turning the blame back on you if you don't follow their impossible steps exactly, or if following their steps caused other and possibly worse health problems)
- faith healers who tell a person casually over the phone that they are healed, regardless of medical circumstances, or any discernible divine intervention
- people who snoop or gossip about someone's situation without actually helping.
We occasionally have the benign problem of 'too many cooks,' where well-meaning people see a need, and try to do something about it (like "re-organize" or shuffle important papers). But if it is not a task they can complete (often because it's not really their job), messing with it can make things worse.
One of the most difficult things as a care giver is to recognize when to leave well enough alone.
Being present, and listening, are often more important than bustling or effort. Between Ernie's medical appointments and our physical distance, we're not able to be present as much as his mom might prefer. So a lot of what we can do is by phone, fax, email, and second-hand.
I often wonder whether I'm doing enough, whether I'm doing too much. I am in this as Ernie's proxy; I often talk to his mother more than he does. And I may be stepping on toes.
There are a lot of emotionally difficult, physically uncomfortable things that happen when a person needs care. Everyone has their own opinions about how things ought to be done. I want us to hear about it if care isn't adequate - and I also want Ernie's mom to be allowed to make her own decisions as long as she is able. Friendly nagging or insisting can quickly become harassment - or just add to the indignity and confusion of an older adult having to ask for help.
Between consenting adults, "No" means No. Either the care giver, or the person receiving care, can decline if they are uncomfortable. (Physical, emotional, or time limits; inappropriate medical training or skill; or a private reason or personal preference are all adequate grounds for declining.)
There are specific legal and medical situations where a person's right to self-determination may be over-ruled. But unless and until you are appointed to make decisions on someone else's behalf, that is not your job.
I keep reminding myself that we are all doing the best we can - and not even the most perfect care can make a loved one immortal.
Hold onto the love, compassion, and gratitude that brought you together in the first place.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Woodshed DIY Resources
August DIY Update:
Woodsheds Again
In the
Western states, our summer dry season is approaching its
end. (Sometimes in a fiery burst of heat. Our sympathy to the folks
currently threatened by active wild fires; we're feeling very lucky NOT to be fighting big wildfires yet in the Okanogan County this year, for once.)
 |
| Our wood shed - already stocked with about 1 winter's supply for our rocket mass heater |
If you need a woodshed, or a bigger or better woodshed, to hold all that lovely wood you've harvested and split this spring, it
would be a REALLY good end-of-August project for this week.
Properly dried and stored fire wood
can provide more than double the same heating energy as
damp or green wood. (Soaking-wet wood can act as a fire
extinguisher, meaning dry wood is infinitely more effective as a
heating fuel.)
A good woodshed is
not just storage out of the rain – it's a clever wood-drying
machine. The shape and structure promote great ventilation, often
using slatted sides or racks, and sometimes featuring dividers so you
can run two years' supply side-by-side with ventilation between each
row. Good wood sheds keep not just rain but groundwater and
evaporating moisture from remaining anywhere near your precious fuel
stores.
A good wood shed
should be so well-ventilated it's almost windy inside. If your
climate is very humid and foggy, you might need to consider a design with some heating function to dry the air - perhaps an enclosed shed whose metal or clear plastic roof helps it functions like a solar dehydrator, or a storage attached to your heated space such as a mud-room, lean-to, or the back corner of a
shop or barn.
(In most climates, these heated spaces are not necessary to achieve dry wood, and
the risk of bringing wood-eating bugs into a large wooden building
may outweigh the convenience and drying speed associated with heated
spaces.)
Common structures
that can double as wood-drying storage include a well-ventilated
greenhouse, barn, daylight basement, or a temporary fabric
structure such as a canopy tent or suspended rain-fly tarp.
Bad ideas for wood sheds include almost all tarped-over woodpiles on the ground. Unfortunately, these often act more as
moisture-trapping mushroom farms than as dry storage. Basements are
another location that may be useable for storing already-dried wood,
but may be too damp or lack the necessary ventilation for a reasonably fast initial
drying and curing process.
If you would not
leave books or linens in your wood storage, for fear of damp and mold,
consider improving it.
 |
| Assembling a 24-foot-wide bow shed carport (yes, it's taller than our 24x36 cabin) |
We are also in the
middle of building an extra-big carport, using the largest approved
size of “bow-truss” from some university extension service barn plans we found online.
The main motive for this project is actually ice-free
access to our vehicles while Ernie recovers from an elective surgery
this fall. But I'm definitely looking forward to stacking a little
bit of extra firewood in here for convenient access this winter. (and possibly to creating an entryway/greenhouse....)
Here are some great
resources for building an inexpensive, spacious woodshed:
Simple shed roof
with tilt-up walls:
A bow-shed greenhouse much like ours (this company does sell plans and accessories, but similar plans are also available elsewhere for free).
Barn construction
details for those with loftier ambitions - MANY designs and details free to download from North Dakota extension service, well-adapted for snow and wind loads:
Many barn and shed
(and other ag building) plans from Tennesee extension service– try #6100 for a nice
simple shed, or #6298 for a gothic-arch bow-shed, greenhouse, or
carport:
If you already have a woodshed you love, please send a picture, or share pictures or links in the comments below.
Thanks for reading!
Yours,
Erica and Ernie
Countdown to the New Normal
If our bodies made logical sense, we would be robots.
A lot has happened since I wrote the posts for May - including some lovely professional opportunities, re-connecting with old friends and colleagues, and making new memories.
But in the last couple of months, the excitement about bringing out The Book has been overshadowed by health concerns. We have two relatively urgent medical upheavals in our lives right now. (Along with the usual number of chronic concerns, if there is such a thing as "usual number" of those.)
One is the news that Ernie's mother Peggy has had a serious downturn in her longstanding battle with cancer. The other is that after trying a lot of alternatives, we finally have been referred to an excellent surgeon, who says there is a very good chance of a successful below-the-knee amputation for Ernie. This is a HUGE decision, but it's one that Ernie has already researched, and made up his mind a few years ago was the next logical step to move forward.
(The weeks between organizing Peggy's hospice care, and going to meet this new surgeon and find out what was possible for Ernie, have been a VERY difficult time to stay focused on work tasks. But now I seem to be back in the saddle for logistics and follow-through.)
If Ernie's insurance gives the green light for this surgery, we need to allow for a year to 18 months of post-surgery recovery and adaptation. After that, we get to discover our "new normal."
We can look forward to possible reductions in pain (currently between 7-10 pain level most days), and significant reduction in the infections he's been experiencing the past year and a half.
I hope we can enjoy a lot more water-sports (many amputees are active kayakers, sailors, and swimmers), and better options for bicycling again. Most travel should become significantly less painful and risky, as well, though we may need to be stricter in our criteria for ADA-accessible destinations.
We have also been warned to expect that construction, especially lifting, twisting, and balance-type activities, are extremely difficult after any leg amputation. The prosthetic socket represents sort of a bendy break in the lower leg, which is a weak point under sideways stresses such as torque, bending, or shear (unstable as well as very uncomfortable). The surgeon and prosthetist we talked to have worked with a number of drywallers, builders, firefighters, and fishermen, and these folks rarely return to the same work after an amputation. (The longest example the surgeon has seen lasted about 2 years at drywalling, and that was a guy who was highly motivated to keep supporting his family. It was just extremely difficult to do that kind of work.)
The most successful people in adapting to life after amputation are good "outside the box" thinkers, who can find new ways to perform familiar tasks now that their body has a new shape and new limits. We all agreed that Ernie is very likely to remain well above average activity levels; he is intrinsically highly motivated, and highly adaptable.
You can imagine this involves a lot of discussion about our work and life together. We may be sending me alone to honor some existing commitments, and identifying and cancelling those optional things that have to give way to higher priorities.
Ernie wants to "support me" in going ahead and doing things without him, things that might take my mind off all this, like fire fighting, book signing, and scheduled events where I get to shine as a featured expert.
However, I find fame is a poor substitute for creative partnership. Performing under the limelight doesn't come naturally to me when my heart's priorities are on what's going on back home.
I've resumed mutually-supportive dates with two of our local friends, and phone check-ins with a couple of family members. A few regular people who ask me how it's going once a week, and especially those who don't mind taking the time to discuss detailed work logistics, family concerns, and other problems, are much appreciated.
We had a lovely "angel visit" from our friend Tyler this weekend, who helped with construction (see next post) as well as prep and playing with natural plasters and goat cheese.
I'm currently organizing my chore lists, so I can delegate somewhat in case of offers from other angels with time to spare.
Yours,
Erica (and Ernie) Wisner
A lot has happened since I wrote the posts for May - including some lovely professional opportunities, re-connecting with old friends and colleagues, and making new memories.
But in the last couple of months, the excitement about bringing out The Book has been overshadowed by health concerns. We have two relatively urgent medical upheavals in our lives right now. (Along with the usual number of chronic concerns, if there is such a thing as "usual number" of those.)
One is the news that Ernie's mother Peggy has had a serious downturn in her longstanding battle with cancer. The other is that after trying a lot of alternatives, we finally have been referred to an excellent surgeon, who says there is a very good chance of a successful below-the-knee amputation for Ernie. This is a HUGE decision, but it's one that Ernie has already researched, and made up his mind a few years ago was the next logical step to move forward.
(The weeks between organizing Peggy's hospice care, and going to meet this new surgeon and find out what was possible for Ernie, have been a VERY difficult time to stay focused on work tasks. But now I seem to be back in the saddle for logistics and follow-through.)
If Ernie's insurance gives the green light for this surgery, we need to allow for a year to 18 months of post-surgery recovery and adaptation. After that, we get to discover our "new normal."
We can look forward to possible reductions in pain (currently between 7-10 pain level most days), and significant reduction in the infections he's been experiencing the past year and a half.
I hope we can enjoy a lot more water-sports (many amputees are active kayakers, sailors, and swimmers), and better options for bicycling again. Most travel should become significantly less painful and risky, as well, though we may need to be stricter in our criteria for ADA-accessible destinations.
We have also been warned to expect that construction, especially lifting, twisting, and balance-type activities, are extremely difficult after any leg amputation. The prosthetic socket represents sort of a bendy break in the lower leg, which is a weak point under sideways stresses such as torque, bending, or shear (unstable as well as very uncomfortable). The surgeon and prosthetist we talked to have worked with a number of drywallers, builders, firefighters, and fishermen, and these folks rarely return to the same work after an amputation. (The longest example the surgeon has seen lasted about 2 years at drywalling, and that was a guy who was highly motivated to keep supporting his family. It was just extremely difficult to do that kind of work.)
The most successful people in adapting to life after amputation are good "outside the box" thinkers, who can find new ways to perform familiar tasks now that their body has a new shape and new limits. We all agreed that Ernie is very likely to remain well above average activity levels; he is intrinsically highly motivated, and highly adaptable.
You can imagine this involves a lot of discussion about our work and life together. We may be sending me alone to honor some existing commitments, and identifying and cancelling those optional things that have to give way to higher priorities.
Ernie wants to "support me" in going ahead and doing things without him, things that might take my mind off all this, like fire fighting, book signing, and scheduled events where I get to shine as a featured expert.
However, I find fame is a poor substitute for creative partnership. Performing under the limelight doesn't come naturally to me when my heart's priorities are on what's going on back home.
I've resumed mutually-supportive dates with two of our local friends, and phone check-ins with a couple of family members. A few regular people who ask me how it's going once a week, and especially those who don't mind taking the time to discuss detailed work logistics, family concerns, and other problems, are much appreciated.
We had a lovely "angel visit" from our friend Tyler this weekend, who helped with construction (see next post) as well as prep and playing with natural plasters and goat cheese.
I'm currently organizing my chore lists, so I can delegate somewhat in case of offers from other angels with time to spare.
Yours,
Erica (and Ernie) Wisner
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
EVIP Training Payment Page
EVIP Vehicle Safety Training:
Thank you for hosting the 2017 EVIP training at the Tonasket Ranger District. To pay by credit card using PayPal, please click here:
You will have a choice between "Check out with PayPal" or "Check Out". The second option will allow you to pay by credit card.
Thank you,
Erica Wisner
Wisner Resources
509-556-2054
www.ErnieAndErica.info
In the unlikely event that someone who did not host the 2017 USFS training is reading this page:
Thank you for hosting the 2017 EVIP training at the Tonasket Ranger District. To pay by credit card using PayPal, please click here:
You will have a choice between "Check out with PayPal" or "Check Out". The second option will allow you to pay by credit card.
Thank you,
Erica Wisner
Wisner Resources
509-556-2054
www.ErnieAndErica.info
In the unlikely event that someone who did not host the 2017 USFS training is reading this page:
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